Alex Chalk used Morse code to wish happy birthday to GCHQ, which is based in his Cheltenham constituency. The Tory MP held up his phone to a microphone in the chamber to allow the beeps to be heard.

It didn't take him long, did it? If rumours are true, Jessie Wallace's ex Vince Morse is now meeting with Max Clifford, left, with a view to selling his story. He claims it's so he can recoup the dosh ...