Umberto Eco had some pretty interesting insights into pinball. Tips, even. Spoiler alert: "You don't play pinball with just your hands." With you so far, Professor. "You play it with the groin too." ...

Turns out you need good reflexes, self control – and a lot of practice. Having not played the retro game (still found in pubs, game arcades and once upon a time fish and chip shops) for oh, I’ll say ...